Love, ultimately magnified on Valentine ’s Day. Beautifully cherished when two becomes one. But what if you’re single? Then that is when it becomes a different journey.
“Singleness. The gift no one wants. The season no one wants to be granted, and the place that feels like you’ve discovered a deeper level of alone.” – Jeff Cherry
No one can ever fathom the extent of singleness until you experience deep aloneness and sadness. At least that’s what I’ve always heard from the majority of single man and woman, and those who have been single for a very long time. Not that I’ve been single for many years, but I must agree that there’s always going to be a gravity of thoughts that will play in your head. It will make you ponder and reflect the possibility of marriage, kids, and family.
I never understood the extent of being single – I, in fact, didn’t know what it was and what it is like until I became one. Since I was young, it has all been about boys, crushes, boyfriend, dating, and fitting in. To me, it was plainly all about my desire to belong and adored. Those things that made up and has been the highlight of my immature years, which seem and feel had been my whole life!
Pure love out of selfishness, vanity and pride. Though then I thought it was fun and ‘euphoric’. Deep within, I already sensed that there’ll be a time where I will go through a pruning process in my life. I obviously couldn’t discern it well then. I definitely did not understand what my spirit was already hinting me, way before I got scarred by loads of heartbreaks and pains. Damage after damage, pain after pain, scattered and broken memories hitting me like broken glasses. All felt like it happened in a slow motion.
Then the season of singleness approached fast like a lightning, like a dark sky – motioning as though it will not let the sun rise, EVER AGAIN.
Yearning is much more amplified and waiting became unbearably difficult. Only then when I’ve become peacefully trusting about it, that I realised, there’s more to being single and acknowledging the fact that it highly defines aloneness – sadness and loneliness.
It’s a better comfort knowing that being single is the best season for “readiness” – the best intention behind my ‘unique’ status of how well I need to learn, grow and mature. Besides than teaching me how to be in the right place to find a date or to find ‘the one’.
It’s about finding contentment and joy whilst I am single. It is a platform where I get to explore my greatest strength, abilities, skills, and my real purpose. The single ME that needs to be fully present in anywhere I go and anywhere I am. This ME that needs to undergo a real test, cold nights, waiting and a great deal of adventure. An adventure that explores greater things, that is not achieved when you’re in a relationship or in marriage. As a woman, there’s a beauty in that – it unleashes an exceptional beauty within you. A beauty that is powerful and radiant.
About waiting, let me break it now – life is not really about you, me, him (the one so to speak). If finding a boyfriend/future husband is the core of you moving forward in life, you will surely be disappointed because I’m so so sorry… You will surely find it but you will also definitely going to lose it. Lose the real definition of living, life purpose and… LOVE. He, ‘the one’, your future husband is not and will not and CANNOT be the core of love. He is not LOVE. Love is not birth in him and from him.
Only and only until you grasp what real LOVE is – that yearning, that sore feeling you get, that void you will still have in your heart even after meeting ‘the one’, will not go away. Because the love that you’re looking for is not of this world. I am still learning all this, soaking and still trying to let all this in. I’m trying to breathe it all in because I don’t want the time to come where I am sat next to someone I love the most, and still question the void I still feel. I know I love him but he is not LOVE.
LOVE IS WAITING.
Now I know why love is waiting. Because truly, that love that will forever make us content and truly happy, will never come to a form of a wife or a husband. That LOVE that we’ve been yearning from the beginning of our being, that makes us want to love and be loved, is The One who breathed romance. The one who uttered the word ‘Let there be light’; the day love and romance came to life. Came to existence, came to being, and became in the form of us. It is powerful! That love, young soul, is what you should long for and find. That is the love you should seek. The rest, will come and flow to you like a stream in the river. Seamless, and profound.
And so whilst and during my singleness, I will wait. I will endure the waiting season.But I am also moving forward. I will rejoice knowing that THE LOVE that I’ve been yearning for, that love I thought I really need all my life, was all along with me. Closer than my breath, and all within me. Before he was mine, I was HIS. To me He is Christ.
So whether singleness is just a season or for an eternity, I am already clothed in white. Beautifully ready to walk down the aisle.
So chin up young soul, you are already wearing a crown. Know that you are already treasured and loved.