12 Jan Ten or fifteen years from now

Ten or fifteen years from now, I bet you’d still remember that you wrote this blog – that if this website still exists. Pray, it still does.

What is it that you want to write? What is it that you want to achieve? Did you really want to travel? Or did you just want to stick around and see the world a bit closer to home? I know you’ve been battling with silence longing in life – such as how much you didn’t want to be in this season of aloneness and or in the season of uncertainties. You say many times how much you’re content with where you at now, but all the things you say is merely painted on your face. Or do I only say this because we barely know ourselves? I have never said this before but You judge yourself so much because of what you see, in the mirror every day. Every single time you take a break and go to the loo – when you pause and stare at this person on the other side, who’s uncommunicative and unsure of herself. Who you said you are, what you said you will do and who you see in the mirror are seem to be a pretty different entity to you. These ‘three’ people don’t seem to coincide and thus, you get stuck on this Idea of doing something, being someone or somebody, but you always come out resulting something irrational and still as unsure but much more sure of being sure of you being unsure of things. Does that still make sense to you? I know the answer would still be yes.

I wonder, though, how in the time and year you are reading this that you are much sure of your life. In what you really want, based on the extreme risks you are willing to take just to achieve and get to that height. I wonder how louder your voice could be by then.